God's Hands and Feet

"God's hands and feet." This phrase has been echoing in my head for awhile now. It started the moment I began to thank God for allowing "me" to take care of Samuel and to be the one who found the things that helped him. Previously, I looked back at the incredible struggles feeling annoyed that God allowed certain instances go on for so long. In 2004 when it all began, I prayed for God to lead us to MD's who could help and would truly care for Samuel. As you know, they were few and far between. In four years of medical saga, I found that much of this establishment is riddled with corruption and it is much more about business than "healthcare.." It still shocks me to think of the many MD's, not to mention bureaucracy with whom we pleaded for compassion, yet they could have cared less about whether Samuel lived or died. When it became obvious that people were continually failing us or simply ignoring us, my prayer changed to ask God to show me how to help Samuel. That is when my prayers started getting somewhere. In looking back at it all, I see clearly how God honored my heart and my compassion for my own son. I see now that He did not allow the many MD's whose motives toward us were not pure to help. These people share none of the Glory of any of Samuel's miracles. They have no part in the moments of unspeakable joy that we had when Samuel was doing well as a result of my efforts. Those were my moments. Those were God honoring me.

There were so many moments in Samuel's sufferings that felt "third world" and from the end of March onward, I certainly relived many of them. I say "third world" because there was no one else who knew how to help so it was all on me. Many times where his pain or amount of physical problems were so unbelievable to even us who looked at them daily. How could things get so out of control when we supposedly have such good medical care here in the US?

I often felt deceived by modern medicine because what happened to Samuel's body seemed like it should have NEVER happened in such an advanced nation and often times the "fix" was so simple. Simple, yet no MD thought of it. Of course December of 2007 stands out because Samuel was dying, literally at death's door, and then a few simple herbs reversed it all. Every day he woke up miserable, I told him first thing in the morning for a week or more that "Mama is going to do everything God shows me to do to make you better. I promise, baby. You will feel better." Then I hit my knees and begged God to just heal him because I was out of options. I didn't have a clue what to do and felt I had already tried everything. What was wrong with Samuel at that point was beyond anything I had encountered and I had been trying things for weeks to no avail. He was in worse physical shape in December than he was in April and May of 2008, and that is saying something considering he died in May. In the eight days of May, he got stronger, not weaker. I just realized that this morning when I was thinking back. And yet several of the worst days passed where I promised Samuel he would get better and it never came to pass. It was horrible and my insides were literally screaming in dismay that I was lying to Samuel telling him I could help him yet he was dying. He should have died. Of course, everyone else had written him off at that point. But then came a breakthrough all by seemingly co-incidence. Samuel improved immediately with the simple herbs and he then knew his Mama kept her promise. That moment was a gift. God gave me that gift; a gift which no man can give and no man can take away. All those prayers I offered up to Him were answered but not in the way I expected. I expected Him to just DO what I asked and fix whatever was wrong with Samuel Himself but instead, He allowed me to be His hands and feet. He allowed me to keep that promise. Because that promise was kept, Samuel got better. Amazingly better. Better enough to have three glorious months of joy. Because that promise was kept, Samuel drew me this picture "to thank me for helping him get better." I now wear the evidence that that promise was kept around my neck.

Having the Lord reveal so many of these awful moments in His perspective makes me all the more thankful to Him for the role I played in it. On a spiritual level, I have nothing but joy, awe and gratitude in retrospect. I am certain that once I am with Samuel again, all we will remember is the amazing parts of his life here and how God knit it all together in such miraculous ways. But since I am still living on earth, I cannot forget the suffering. Mark and I agree, the worst thing was starvation; especially in December 2007. It didn't matter that his gut wasn't working. It didn't matter that leukemia was in the picture. What mattered was that even though we were feeding him, his body was starving. I dug and dug and dug for information on how to feed a child who has starved for a long period of time. I found a very helpful medical site that was part of a text specifically prepared for Africa. It gave a very detailed protocol for tube feeding children who have starved for so long that they no longer even feel hungry. It outlined all the physical issues and treatments associated with digestion starting again after it has been stifled for months. A lot of it was familiar to me as we had already went through this in 2004 when trying to get Samuel off TPN and back on NG feeds. He could not tolerate even 5ml or 1 tsp. of liquid given over an hours time. He threw up. It took weeks, patience, anti-nausea meds, motility meds and lots of towels to clean puke to get only half way back to normal. Of course, none of this worked for Samuel because we weren't dealing with a normal GI tract and at that point, I didn't know about the leaky gut. At any rate, here I had to find "third world" medical instructions and that was heartbreaking. Heartbreaking because not only did I have to deal with this in my own home, but also because starvation is a reality for families worldwide. At least I had options. The scanty medical care Samuel received was certainly better than none. The Internet has "how to" galore, all you have to do is sift through it. Samuel's "maintenance" medical costs which I paid out of pocket were not cheap, but we had options. I really took a step back when I read that medical text and thought of the many families who don't have options. Starvation is a horrible, painful, hideous way to die. It is a stupid reason to die. Malnourishment isn't much better in that it opens the door for all kinds of diseases. I know first hand.

Shortly after Samuel died, several churches raised money in his honor and asked where I would have them donate. My answer, "Feed the hungry. There wasn't anything worse than watching Samuel starve. Nothing worse than having him beg for food and tell him he couldn't eat. Nothing worse than hearing him sob over it." And it didn't matter that we had food. It didn't matter that we fed him. His body never received it past a certain point in April. His body looked no different than the malnourished in third world countries. He starved to death and died the same way many children die worldwide. Those memories break me. 1/3 of the inhabitants of the earth are starving to death.

I have spent months trying to determine what I might do with my time for the Kingdom, for the One who helped me keep my promise, for Jesus who prepared a place for Samuel and rescued him from that broken body. If you have been a follower of Christ for even a short amount of time, you have most certainly been told that "God has a plan for your life." What exactly does that mean? Does it mean you have a perfect childhood, get a good paying job, drive a sports car, live in a mansion and have money coming out your ears? I know certain evangelists who will tell you this is true. If you take the time to search out scripture, you will find that when Jesus walked the earth, He didn't hand out "perfect lives." Proverbs 30:8-10 says Give me neither poverty nor riches— Feed me with the food allotted to me; Lest I be full and deny Yo u and say, “Who is the LORD?” Or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God. In Matthew 19:24 Jesus says, "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Jesus knew that the "rich" have a difficult time "finding God" because they believe that great wealth means their soul is rich. He sums this up again in Revelation 3:17 where He says "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." Anyone who tells you God's plan is for you to have an abundance of material things hasn't read their Bible. As Solomon says, it is best to be somewhere between rich and poor as far as material wealth goes.

God's plan for you is the same one Jesus gave His disciples.

The Great Commission Matthew 28: 16-20
Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Make disciples of Jesus Christ in all the nations. Keep the commandments. That is the plan. Now we just need to figure out how to integrate that into our daily 9-5. 1 Corinthians 12 gives detailed illustration to the fact that Christ is the head of the Church and followers of Christ are the body. We are the body yet we all may have different functions in it. The trick is to find what the function is and then do it. Remember, "God's hands and feet." This is our privilege. Unspeakable joy enters in when you find your function in the body and do it. I was raised thinking I had to get a good education so I could get a good job. As a child, it is pounded into your mind. But who do we really work for? 1 Corinthians 10:31 says So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. I work for the King. This is what I am going to "pound" into my kids heads. Education and jobs are great and again, that is our privilege given by God. But the ultimate goal in everything should be for the Glory of God. Impacting the Kingdom. Where do you start? Start with what is in your hand. Everyone has God given talent. Everyone has a God given longing. God made us to serve Him so when you find your niche, it should be a joyous occasion. You should "know" it when you find it.

Sometime in April, I became aware of Compassion International through Angie Smith's blog. I have "known" Angie for just over a year now though we have never met. At first I just skimmed through the Compassion site not really having much of an opinion either way. The Lord kept drawing me back to it. So I started reading through the "real" stories of children and families who are helped. I dug deeper and contacted some people personally who are involved in Compassion's outreach and was further intrigued. We all know we are supposed to "help the poor" but do you really know what the Bible says about the poor and how we are supposed to help? Psalm 82:3 says Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Proverbs 22:2 says the Rich and poor have this in common: The LORD is the Maker of them all. Deuteronomy 15:11 says There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land. Is the Lord shocked by poverty? No. He is responsible for both. Chew on that for awhile. James 2:5 says Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? This verse says "poor" have a very special anointing of faith on them. Chew on that. I know a bit about special anointings because Samuel had one.

The Torah (Genesis-Deuteronomy) explains God's plan for the poor in great depth and it's not welfare. God's plan is to get them working to get themselves out of poverty. Of course, immediate family should always take care of them first without repayment. The person is still required to work and contribute to the family, however. If family is not available or able, then the poor can sell himself into slavery to another. Slavery here isn't what you imagine slavery to be however. Slaves had to be taken especially good care of right down to the most minute detail. If the slave did not have a pillow to sleep on, the master had to give the slave his. They were often treated better than family. A person could only be a slave for six years and in the seventh year was set free with tons of resources to make it on his own. Special rules were in effect for farmers to harvest only the inner parts of their fields leaving the outermost borders for the poor to take freely. Provisions were made for the poor when it came time for sacrifice or offerings as well; sort of a sliding fee scale type thing. In short, they were not to be ignored, exploited or taken advantage of. Mercy and grace must always abound and if you knew about a person who was poor, you were supposed to help them get out from under their poverty. Proverbs 28:27 says He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.

So many people closed their eyes to Samuel's life and sufferings here. They knew it and yet they ignored us. I will never forget how that felt as long as I live. I have never been the kind of person who would walk past someone I could help. I have seen third world suffering first hand and if I could help someone miss out on it entirely, I would.

As I continued to search out Compassion, I realized that they are helping the poor very much in line with Torah teachings. It is not just welfare assistance creating dependency; it is a whole host of life-sustaining and life-changing skills that gives the children hope and a way out of poverty. They are changing lives, not just throwing money at people. They are helping the poor keep their dignity by keeping families together and helping to stamp out the desperate measures some may take to survive. They are helping children have a "childhood" which is something Samuel never had.

Compassion follows Torah because it is centered around building the relationship. Children who enter the Compassion programs are often enrolled as young as four and "graduate" between the ages of 18-22 depending on the country. You can be their sponsor for over a decade in many cases. You are not anonymous, the child you sponsor will know who you are and will exchange letters with you. In many instances, the sponsor becomes the lifeline to hope for the child. While you may sponsor the child, their whole family is affected because of you. And you have the option to give additional financial gifts or visit your child in their country.

My "formal" education is in Accounting and there are a number of economical reasons why the small monthly gift helps these children. If you give $32 a month to a family whose income is $11 a month, even though in our economy in the US, it isn't much, for them it is a significant raise. Obviously these people don't have house payments or car payments to meet. Nor to they have telephone, or Internet. Compassion is their only lifeline. They are throwing themselves out there and praying that someone in the world will notice and care. Often the families are farmers who grow and trade for their living. They have very limited resources so you gift helps with medical care, clothing, tuition, job training, etc. Compassion has special programs in which you can financially give more and a lot of people do. They give you very specific info on the child's economic circumstances and also tell you which months are hardest for hunger and disease.

Helping to meet some one's basic needs is an important step in their well-being. But as I have learned from Samuel, your whole body can be completely ruined and you can live in a 10x10 room for months, but if you know Jesus, that changes everything. You can find joy in the little things. Life is built upon love and not on materialism. So many of the children being reached through this program have nothing in the realm of "stuff" but have the Joy of the Lord which no man can buy or sell. It is God given. I want to help that happen. I realized last month that Samuel's life has given me a heart for people in third world countries who need us as much as we need them.

I felt the Lord tugging at my heart and I knew He was calling me to this I started looking through the pictures of children waiting for sponsors but I couldn't figure out how to even pick because there are so many. I decided to plug in Samuel's birthday to see if there was a child I could sponsor and there was only one: Esther in Ghana. Fitting. She is in Africa and Samuel's favorite RN was an Esther. My children and I fell in love with this Esther immediately. And in the same country, on the same page, I found a Samuel. I took that as a confirmation. My Samuel doesn't need my help anymore but I could help someone else's Samuel and I cannot tell you why but that thrills me no end. We loved him immediately too (Their pictures are in my side bar.) . But then I began to have a big problem. I wanted to help all the kids. Mark came home and asked me if I was sponsoring ten more but I knew I couldn't. I still wanted to. Well, God showed me how I could help them more. So, I decided to become a Compassion Advocate in addition to sponsoring children. I cannot close my eyes to them.

When I first started looking into Compassion, it seemed like such a little thing. But it has brought me great joy. Anna prays so sweetly for these children and she loves them even though she may never meet them on earth. It is a good learning experience for them as well: geography, economics, culture, etc. I want my children to realize that they are blessed. I want them to realize that all the stuff of this world is worthless compared to the joy of helping another human being. I want them to appreciate what they have but always be willing to give. I want to work to make a "Giving" not a living and I want to teach them to do the same.

Why does God allow poverty? Why does He allow disease? So we could learn about His compassion. So we will act with compassion as our second nature. Jesus was often moved by compassion in His walk on earth and all He asked in return was for people to believe in Him. If someone on earth has a need, God created someone else to meet it. Everything has an opposite. God made the rich to bless the poor; to be His hands and feet. Each has a gift to offer the other and I think God knew that if His commandments were followed, that the rich and poor would then bless each other and meet somewhere in the middle.

If the Lord leads you to sponsor a child with Compassion, please make my day......let me know. If you are looking for a well thought out Bible compliant charity who makes good use of funds, Compassion International is one of them. Perhaps you are called to do something else for the Kingdom. God knows you won't have to look very far to find someone who needs God's hands and feet to come near them. Instead of asking God to "fix" everything for us and just watch from the sidelines, let's ask Him how we can be His hands and feet and teach other to do the same. God gave US dominion over the earth to carry out His plans and we need to take it back by sharing Jesus, making disciples, and following His commandments.